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Clench
your teeth, brace yourself, and get ready to grin
and bear it 'cause the college application process
can be a rocky ride. All the necessary paperwork,
school visits, and information overload will be
stressful, but your parents' desires might factor
into that stress as well. It's only because they
love you, but let's face it -- dealing with your
'rents can sometimes be a downright pain!
James
Wells, now a college sophomore, spent his freshman
year at the University of Connecticut in Storrs,
CT, but getting there was a battle. "For me, college
choices were limited because my family didn't
have a lot of money, and the burden of paying
for school was my own," he says. "My family wanted
me to attend college in-state, but since it was
my own future, and my own debt, I fought to go
north to UConn."
Though
it wasn't easy, James' parents eventually supported
his decision. "Neither of my parents went to college,
and I think they just didn't want to see me make
any bad decisions," James explains.
Knowing
how to handle the inevitable family stress during
times of struggle will be an invaluable skill.
"Explain what's crucial to you," says Marty Nemko,
Ph.D., author of You're Gonna Love This College
Guide (Barron's, 1999). "Then, explain how
their first-choice college for you doesn't meet
those requirements."
Honest, frequent communication can be a remedy
in times of conflict, especially when it comes
to deadlines, affirms Nemko. "Make deals," he
recommends. "Say, 'I understand you're worried,
but I'm feeling too much pressure. How about we
agree that I'll get it done by X date if you agree
not to hound me between now and then?'" The key
is to follow through and keep your end of the
deal.
Plus,
it always helps to put yourself in their shoes.
"If you're going to be spending big bucks on your
kid's college education, you don't want all that
money going to a last-choice college," says Nemko.
~ Paul D. Rosevear
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